The Male Supremacy Test
[Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, egalitarian women like men-- men who think we’re human, that we’re people, that don’t consider us enemies to be conquered. And there are many egalitarian men-- brave men who don’t bow to culture’s long tradition of misogyny, to peer pressure, to bullying. This test is for fun, but also for the purpose of exposing the kind of me-first teachings being pushed so heavily in churches today.
And besides... compared to what’s being written on this topic by the likes of CBMW, in all seriousness I might add, this is very watered-down.]
Manly men, this is your big chance to test and prove your manhood! Answer these questions in whatever way makes you look the most assertive. Choose only one answer per question.
- What is the opposite of male supremacism?
- Female supremacism
- Maleness mildly preferred
- There is no opposite
- Complete this sentence: Real men don’t ______.
- Cook-- those male 4-star chefs are all sissies
- Clean-- Mr. Clean is an oxymoron
- Sing-- tenors are trying to sound like women
- Paint-- unless it’s a house
- If I were driving and got lost in a big city, I would ask directions from:
- Anyone or anything but a female, even a male store mannequin
- No one; I like driving in circles to pretend I’m on a race track
- Why does my GPS have to have a female voice??
- CBMW. That “BMW” must mean they know about cars and stuff.
- Men are born leaders over women because:
- Adam got rewarded for being spineless, and we can’t do worse
- We don’t need to ask directions
- We’re bigger and stronger, and might makes right
- We got there first. Nyaa nyaa!
- The ideal woman would be:
- A store mannequin
- A BMW
- Rich and stupid
- Can’t talk now, watching football
Thank you for taking the Male Supremacy Test. Please
submit--- er, send in--- your manly, decisive, godlike answers for grading. If you pass you will receive a free map of major US cities and a deer head to hang on the wall and make everyone envy your hunting skills, whether you have them or not. If you do not pass, you must undergo six weeks of Insensitivity Training at the Rodney Dangerfield Theological Institute. And stop sniveling about it, ya big wimp.