Opinions on faith and life

The Male Supremacy Test

2008-08-24

[Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, egalitarian women like men-- men who think we’re human, that we’re people, that don’t consider us enemies to be conquered. And there are many egalitarian men-- brave men who don’t bow to culture’s long tradition of misogyny, to peer pressure, to bullying. This test is for fun, but also for the purpose of exposing the kind of me-first teachings being pushed so heavily in churches today.

And besides... compared to what’s being written on this topic by the likes of CBMW, in all seriousness I might add, this is very watered-down.]

Manly men, this is your big chance to test and prove your manhood! Answer these questions in whatever way makes you look the most assertive. Choose only one answer per question.

  1. What is the opposite of male supremacism?
    1. Female supremacism
    2. Equality
    3. Maleness mildly preferred
    4. There is no opposite
  2. Complete this sentence: Real men don’t ______.
    1. Cook-- those male 4-star chefs are all sissies
    2. Clean-- Mr. Clean is an oxymoron
    3. Sing-- tenors are trying to sound like women
    4. Paint-- unless it’s a house
  3. If I were driving and got lost in a big city, I would ask directions from:
    1. Anyone or anything but a female, even a male store mannequin
    2. No one; I like driving in circles to pretend I’m on a race track
    3. Why does my GPS have to have a female voice??
    4. CBMW. That “BMW” must mean they know about cars and stuff.
  4. Men are born leaders over women because:
    1. Adam got rewarded for being spineless, and we can’t do worse
    2. We don’t need to ask directions
    3. We’re bigger and stronger, and might makes right
    4. We got there first. Nyaa nyaa!
  5. The ideal woman would be:
    1. A store mannequin
    2. A BMW
    3. Rich and stupid
    4. Can’t talk now, watching football

Thank you for taking the Male Supremacy Test. Please submit--- er, send in--- your manly, decisive, godlike answers for grading. If you pass you will receive a free map of major US cities and a deer head to hang on the wall and make everyone envy your hunting skills, whether you have them or not. If you do not pass, you must undergo six weeks of Insensitivity Training at the Rodney Dangerfield Theological Institute. And stop sniveling about it, ya big wimp.

8 Comments

Don

1. Female supremacism. 2. hide their tears. 3. from anyone. 4. women were suppressed. 5. female.

tiro3

LOL good one Sis. and great answers Don. I still think real men eat quiche. :)

Paula Fether

Now there’s a real man... didn’t just take what was pushed at him!

U go, boy!

Don

I thought of a better answer: 2. birth babies.

Paula Fether

Painfully true!

Kathy

’5. female.’

Don, that’s warm and fuzzy! free to be feeemmale!

ahunt

1) What is the opposite of male supremacism?

Answer: Masculine compassion and intelligence.

2) Complete this sentence: Real men don’t ______.

Answer:...whine when the wife takes the 8-point buck with a 35# recurve in the first thirty minutes of the swamp hunt opening day.

3) If I were driving and got lost in a big city, I would ask directions from:

Answer: my wife’s Mom, via cell phone, because a man’s wife can’t possibly know where her Mom has lived for the last 10 years, much less know how to get there... and no, the BH will never live this one down.

4) Men are born leaders over women because:

Answer: until recently, perpetual pregnancy was a given.

5)The ideal woman would be:

Answer: my wife, because I know what is good for me.

Paula Fether

Good stuff, ahunt!