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Words of a Fether

Opinions on Faith and Life

Warped Drive

I speak of the drive to make men leaders of women by virtue of the flesh. I have gleaned some quotes from message boards that show this disturbing trend and its effect upon Christianity. Try and read through them, considering the presumptions underlying the words. I will comment periodically.


I think I lead well ... there are areas where her expertise exceeds mine, and in these I STILL lead, but she acts as a consultant... Any woman who loves you will, in her heart, realise you have to be the leader... This is an excellent way to show her you will be fair, but firm. And onward you lead... Think of a successful pairing like a business partnership, except the two people kiss; each of you is involved in all aspects, work, household, personal development... and if she doesn’t [choose wisely], you have the right to an explanation. (emphasis mine)
I have the impression that this man thinks his wife is a child. Leading someone with greater expertise than you is foolhardy and egotistical; basing love on obedience to a mere man is idolatrous; comparing a one-flesh union to a business model is like trying to pattern child care after the rules for football. “Fair but firm” is, as I said, what a parent says to a child or an employer says to an employee; veto power is for political leaders and bosses. This confused young man has swallowed the male supremacist line completely.
I think some of MY ways of not giving up the power to the next one is by not allowing myself to get too emotionally involved with her, unless we get to the point where we feel we are a match...
“Giving up power” says it all; he believes he has divinely-sanctioned POWER over his wife or girlfriend. And anyone who thinks he has this power yet looks for a “match” is saying he wants an equal subordinate. Not gonna happen!
A healthy woman is attracted to a man she can influence and who will listen to her, but not one she can control. She will feel safer with you if she knows you will listen to her but do what you think is best anyway. That can be hard at times, but it is good for you and for her. If you are with someone that doesn’t trust you enough to allow you to be a man, then just be careful.
A healthy woman does not manipulate or control— same for a healthy man. Any woman who thinks she is incapable of trusting her own judgment is not healthy or not grown up, and neither is the man who thinks his judgment is always better than hers. If he wants a dog he should buy a dog. And “being a man” does NOT mean being a jerk, a boss, a brute, or any other such egomaniac.
I’d be inclined to avoid going too far down that road before your self-esteem takes too much of a pounding... My wife used to get annoyed with me leaving the toilet seat up until I pointed out the likely consequences of it being left down if my aim wasn’t quite right in the middle of the night... Someone who is dominating and controlling at first is unlikely to improve over time...
Nobody’s self esteem takes a greater and more relentless pounding than a woman who is not allowed to grow up or be an independent adult, or who has to trade her direct relationship with Christ for a mere man. As for the toilet seat, does Mr. Clean realize that if you flush with the seat up, little droplets of whatever was in the toilet go flying all over the room and land on things like toothbrushes? The guy is not only lazy but ignorant and self-centered. Oh, the poor baby shouldn’t have to raise the seat during the night, but wifey gets no sympathy for having to be sure she puts it down. Sheesh. And I totally agree with the last line; no domineering man is going to soften if his wife spends her life stroking his delicate ego.
I love her very much, but she is not very submissive and yells at me alot. I actually have my hand in a cast because she kept going in an argument and I punch the floor.
Holy matrimony, Batman! She won’t submit! Must.... punch... SOMETHING!! “That woman you gave me...”!
The desire of the woman will be for the position of the man but he will have to rule over her as a result.
Show me the word “position” in Genesis. And “HAVE TO” rule? Oh sure, this terrible burden was given to man. Cry me a river.
I have made the mistake of often agreeing with my ex wife... Rather then making it clear that because it was not important to me it was not important unless I judged [sic] it would be good for her or us both together before God’s eyes.
Yeah, agreeing with her is what broke the marriage, I’m sure. Well, Your Honor, you obviously had no clue what was better for BOTH of you.


That was all from one thread in one message board. I was going to go on but all this sniveling, whining, me-first pablum was giving me a headache. What ever happened to just being Christians, just being adults? Have they never read “not so with you”, “love is not self-seeking”, or “consider others as better than yourself”? What religion is this?

Yes, the disciples are still aiming for the top positions in the kingdom, still wanting to be first, still claiming preeminence.

Posted 2009-05-11 under Christian Living, women, rule, men, male supremacy